It's not that I don't need to catch up on these pages. It's not that I don't like to write. It's not that I don't have plenty - I mean plenty to say.
I'd just rather be sleeping is all.
But here I am in the very, very early morning hours, trying not to be pissed off at insomnia, trying instead - to seek the sun. Not that big orangey-yellow star that I do love. No, I'm trying to see the goodness in all things. I'm trying to be accepting of what is in front of me.
Although I love the concept of acceptance, and I freely advice, cajole, or lecture those around me that "it is...what it is", I have an ultra-hard time following this myself.
But I try.
And yes, it's been too long.
Oh, and another thing I work on. Or is it the same? Anyway, lately or maybe it was just the last painful 24 hours, I have been a swirling vortex of negativity. And I know it's wrong. I think being positive is the bee's knees. But my own knees are crap, and bees annoy me, so although I try to think happy shiny stuff - it's not happening so much.
Stuart Smalley would not be so proud of me. Some daily affirmations typically include: "ya big dufus, why did you sleep so late?" Or, "yer a bloody eejit who spent too long Googling shit instead of writing shit!"
I don't want to be in denial about my real failings, but I don't suppose these hateful messages are healthy either.
So, this was my round-about way of saying that I am aggravated that I haven't posted that much.
But it's funny that I looked in my 'draft' sections here, and I have some juicy stuff started. I just wish I knew where my mind was going - so I could have finished the posts.
Hey, just for fun, I'm going to go ahead and put up my Olympics post and see how it looks. Why not?
OK I did it. You'll have to scroll a bit to find it. Not very far though.
Next is something I wrote, or started to write about the...I don't know...smugness?...of the U.S. Unfortunately, I can't remember my initial intent, so I have no idea how to end the piece. I guess I will keep it in 'draft' for a while longer.