Thursday, November 21, 2002

I have to post something that I received in Email. So, at the outset, let me say that I did not write this. But it is an example of how stupid and greedy people are. And that's just something I can't take.

"Unbelievable! These people deserved nada. Only the pain they sustained.

The Stella Awards

The "Stella" awards rank up there with the Darwin awards. Stella
Liebeck is the 81 year old lady who spilled coffee on herself and sued McDonalds.
This case inspired an annual award - The "Stella" Award - for the most
frivolous lawsuit in the U.S. The following are this year's candidates:

1. January 2000: Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded
$780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving child was Ms.Robertson's son.

2. June 1998: A 19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda
Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car, when He was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

3. October 1998: A Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania was
leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation. Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of half a million dollars.

4. October 1999: Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded
$14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his
next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in it's owner's
fenced-in yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

5. May 2000: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx. The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson threw it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

6. December 1997: Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

And the winner is:

Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City.

In November 2000 Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32 foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having joined the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly the Winnie left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the handbook that he couldn't actually do this. He was awarded $1,750,000 plus a new Winnie. (Winniebago actually changed their handbooks on the basis of this court case, just in case there are any other complete morons buying their vehicles)"
Author Unknown

Monday, November 18, 2002

Signs of the Times

Driving through town, the signs are everywhere. You know what time of year it is not only by a calendar, or the weather, but by the signs.
“Dracut High School Craft Fair” This always promises a great shopping trip to find unique and reasonably priced items, plus catching up with friends you haven’t seen in a while.
“Hay Rides and Free Fudge” - The yells of “We want fudge!” drift over the fields as Pete drives the hay wagon of enthusiastic visitors at The Broken Wheel Farm.
“Fresh Holiday Eggnog” - You know you better get to Shaw Dairy Farm before the eggnog is gone, and don’t forget a quart of the best chocolate milk ever.
Some signs are as abundant and varied as masses of flowers. “Vote for Garry”, “Kerry in ‘02”, “Tucker for Senate”, “Tim for Treasurer”. There’s a stretch of Route 38 in Pelham, NH, that had dozens of campaign signs posted like merry wildflowers. And they were gone as quickly as they came.
Other signs are not as obvious, but are there if you know where to look. Driving past the Elm Turkey Farm last Saturday morning, I saw the row of pick-up trucks in the field next to the barn. On the other side of the building, the men were gearing up in aprons and large rubber boots. I know what time it is for the turkeys.
Too soon, there will be a line of cars on Broadway Road, waiting to get into the Post Office parking lot. A longer line still, will be streaming into the Pheasant Lane Mall parking lot. Not many will find parking spots easily.
The signs are there, it’s that time again. It all goes so quickly though, from soccer games, to homecoming dances, to Christmas caroling. When it’s over, and a long January is ahead, what do we look for then? Signs for “White Sales”, and "Tax Preparer"!