Monday, January 26, 2009

Notes to the Universe

Or at least to my closest Internet Neighbors.

Step right up! Be the First to comment!

1. What is a Ponzi Scheme? No. Don't tell me - I KNOW that Madoff did it. But what the blue blazes is that? Money laundering through mall pizzerias? Fonzi's evil twin who wore Kevlar and an attitude? I Googled a little, and finding nothing, I grew bored and listless and move along to a Michelle OBama fashion gallery. Hey, she looks good, they all look good. Reminds me of Jack and Jackie, Caroline and John-John. Here's hoping they all live long healthy lives - but I digress.

2. SAGs - who saw 'em? (A separate post being worked up currently)

3. Most Bizarre Spit-take. Corinne would have loved it. Well, actually perhaps been grossed out - unless I was on stage taste-testing Kick-A-Poo Joy Juice.

- took a nice hot sip of coffee, got a tickle in my throat and convulsively coughed out a spray of Folger's (mixed with a little Newman's Own) not only ALL over my laptop, but reached about five feet beyond me, seriously. Caffiene dew-drops all over our year and a half old sofa, some paperwork sitting on the half-wall (The Young Prince will notice this - it was his school work). Ew. But funny.

4. The Colonoscopy. No need to really elaborate, that much. But if I were a writer - Oh Lordy, look at that, I am a writer - I'd devote a separate post to that. There was a lot of comedy gold there. And no polyps this time (and I thank God for that). So, this was the Happy Birthday procedure, and a follow up from the first time.

5. OK, all of these deserve separate posts. And THE FlOOD, that's another saga in the max-series that is my life.

Here's a brief look:
Ice Storm in December. Subpump failed because generator failed. Finished off sports bar basement with two inches of standing water. Ironically, (besides the XBox, which Tom was quick to save and the TV/Stereo thingies that I was quick to save) the only things really kept high and dry were the unwanted but un-sold household items/toys/books/crap that we tried to unload at our failure of a yard sale. (good stuff cheap but bad timing). Those treasures have been sitting on top of the air hockey table and foosball tables - safe as you please.

Fuck, right?


Mat Brewster said...

We're settling in for a winter blast today. Supposed to get major ice later this afternoon and into the night.

Yikes, and I feel for ya there.

Feel for you on the spit take too. I assume the computer is ok? I spew some chocolate milk on my laptop once and made the m key periodically stick. I'd be typing along and then suddenly mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm would occur.

Yikes! Yikes! and so forth.

Eric Berlin said...

Not quite FIRST... but close!

Folger's coffee, yes! I start off nearly every morning of my life with some of that instant stuff... usually manage not to do a spit-take though.

I have had more than one occasion though to spill the whole fucking container all over the floor. It's usually when I'm super tired and running late. Invariably I'll utter something like, "Could have lived without that."

Tom Johnson said...

I think there's talk that it might rain today. Sorry, it's Arizona. You can remind me of this when I'm complaining about burning my fingers on door handles and steering wheels when it's 115 degrees out in July.

Speaking of colonoscopies, my dad had one earlier last year and ended up having a growth of some kind in there. He had to have 10 FREAKIN' INCHES of colon removed! He had waited longer than he should have to get a colonoscopy, and it's a very good thing he did it when he did. Bottom line, get those whenever it is you're supposed to, not years later. He has recovered very, very well, and very quickly, by the way.

Now that I've killed the mood . . .

El Bicho said...

Aaron Fleming said...

I have no idea what you're talking about. That must mean it's good. Incomprehensibility is an attractive quality in a writer - who needs clarity of thought? 'Tis the ludic displays of a simpleton, that's what that is!

The fragmented, a dose of the fragmentation, that's also nice. Very postmodern, those scattered threads of throught, unarranged, miles from the tyrany of the grand narrative.

Says I, says you.