Another one! Life is good!

From: Mr. Lawrence Omenda.
Tell : 66-59055478
Dear Sir.
Compliment of the day, before I proceed, I must be grateful to introduce my self, I am Mr. Lawrence Omenda a former personal aide to finance minister in Sierra Leone government, prior to the time of crisis which is presently on, I was able to secure some amount of fund which was safely deposited in Thailand.Due to my position, I was able to come away with the sum of { Four Million five hundred thousand United State Dollars}$4.5m, it was part of my share in over inflated contract awarded to foreign companies during the crisis.

I have the tendency to invest this money in a company with good line of product like your own company and with potential for good capital returns, since your country is one of good investors friendly nation in the world, I would therefore like you to help me in every possible way in securing the fund in your country.Furthermore , I will like you to assist me in finding a good business that I will invest this fund.However upon acceptance, you will be required to come to Bangkok Thailand for a meeting, this will enable us to know our self better and finalize arrangement towards moving the fund to your country.

In view of your participation, I am ready to give a good negotiation percentage for your assistance or better still commit it into joint venture project, be assured that you stand no risk of any kind as the fund legitimately belongs to me.I strongly believe that associating with you to embark on this and other business ventures will derive a huge success hereafter. .Presently, I am here in Thailand under the immunity of United Nation due to the war in my country, feel free to ask me any question in view of any doubt from your side, kindly reply with this Email law_omenda45@thaimail.orgAlso add your phone number probably mobile for ease of communication.

Best regards.
Lawrence Omenda.

I have been recieving these emails in my spam filter - about two or three a week. Though I understand that there is nothing genuine about them, I am intrigued nevertheless. To think, someone has determined that I am the glorious solution to their grave financial issues. This most recent plea is 'from' a industrious women in Bangkok. I may post up other ones, if I havn't deleted them alltogether.

Also forthcoming is my response to the dear dear Ms. Woodward.


"Attn,

I am a lady accountant with a bank here in Bangkok Thailand. There is a fixed Deposit of $150,000,000.00 (One Hundred and Fifty Million Dollars) made to this bank since 1994 which is twelve years now and since then no claim or withdrawal have been made on that deposit.

Fortunately, I have been the person working the interest from the day Of deposit to date, The interesting part of it is that the fixed deposit belongs to the late Nigerian dictator General Sani Abacha, this means that the account may have been abandoned by the surviving family members or that they are not even aware of the existence of the deposit.

However, I just finished updating the interest of the deposit this June, and it has come up to pound; $105,000,000.00 at the 7% interest rate per annum. It is this interest that I am interested in because I know very well that the family will care less on what happens to the Interest if they want to redeem the deposit, they will be interested on The main money, that is if they are able to claim it at all because all The money lodged into different banks here in Europe and United States Are now been claimed by the Nigerian government.

Meanwhile, my plan is to withdraw just some amount from the accumulated Interest, which will not even affect the main fixed deposit, I will Give you the details of procedure and my full ID when I receive your reply and indication of partner. Your reward and amount to withdraw will be our mutual agreement to avoid any misunderstanding.We have nothing to lose, we only courage to do this.

Sincerely yours,
Miss. Cynthia Woodward"

BIG TV QUIZ

OK it's not all that BIG, but let's not quibble over length
Leave your guesses in the comments - and when I get around to it, I'll post the answers. And for the love of Aaron Spelling - try to not Google or IMDB for answers - it's not very cricket, ya know? : )~

1. "I feel like I swallowed a hot mitten"


2. "I'm OUT!"


3. "I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode. I think it was called, "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down." "


4. "Hi, I'd like a Cheeseburger, please, a large fries and a Cosmopolitan"


5. "I didn't swear. GD. The first word is God. How can that be a swear word? It's the most popular word in the bible. The second word, damn, that's a perfectly good word, you hear it all the time, like they dam the river to keep it from flooding it. And you read in the Bible that some guy was damned for cheating or stealing or having sex in the family. And who damned him? Who else? God. God damned him. Edith, beautiful words right out of the Bible."


6. "I love it here. You can sing as loud as you want. That dude wails away on the organ. That dude up there tells stories. It's almost a religious experience!"


7. "...do you have any idea what happens to a butter-based frosting after sitting 60 years in a poorly ventilated English basement? I have a feeling that what you are about to go through is punishment enough. Dismissed!"

8. "I'm having a good ass day"


9. "Hey, you know, I have had it with you guys and your "cancer" and your "emphysema" and your "heart disease." The bottom line is smoking is cool and you know it."