The Days Before Christmas

Muted sun on a chilly December morning -
Coffee, muffin, and chore list -
Candle lit, holiday tunes on Pandora -
And on we go!

In the (Google) News

My Funeral Playlist

No need to really read anything into this, but sometimes I hear these songs and think, yeah, that’d be cool to help ease me into the after-life.

I've got a couple obvious tear-jerkers, what can I say; I’m a sucker for certain songs, despite the huge commercial appeal.

Spirit in the Sky – Norman Greenbaum

Being an oldie but goodie, this song never really registered with me until I was grown up, with the family at a beach amusement park. This song was being played while we were leaving, and it struck something inside. It’s so full of joy and faith and makes me want to dance. Which, I won’t be able to do, when the time comes, actually. So, I rely on those present to dance for me.

Angel – Sarah McLachlan

I don’t know which is more heartbreaking – McLachlan’s voice full of ache and promise, or her haunting lyrics. It became a personal anthem after my father died.

The Precious Jewel – Roy Acuff.

Instrumental version by Charlie Hayden and Pat Metheny

I’d never heard of Hayden, just barely knew the name Pat Metheny. And certainly never heard of Roy Acuff. Then one day Sir Mark wrote one of his usual thoughtful Friday Morning Listen column pieces highlighting how this song came along at just the right time as he and TheWife™ were dealing with some tough family stuff. Triumph in the face of Adversity and all that is how it sits with me.

Cast Your Fate to the Wind – Vince Guaraldi (George Winston version)

Not only is the appeal of this Charlie Brown favorite ageless, the very title is liberating.

The Long Day is Over – Norah Jones

Lovely Norah comforts with her voice, inviting a warm respite.

Glasgow Love Theme – Craig Armstrong

Trust me, it’s a very pretty song.

Fix You – Cold Play

OK, so it’s a little manipulative. But to me it’s God’s ultimate promise in Eternity.

I Still Haven’t Found What I’m looking For – U2 (Live version from Rattle and Hum)

And neither have I, quite frankly. But this gospel inspired hopeful anthem by one of Ireland’s better exports makes the quest not only bearable, but downright invigorating.

Thy Word – Amy Grant

Catchy and inspiring. Good stuff.

Run Like Hell – Pink Floyd

Because the perverse part of me insists.

The Landscape of Grief

Writing has always been a cathartic exercise, and a look around bookstore shelves or right here on the blogosphere will testify to that.

So, on this day of September 11, the gorgeous weather gives us the same incongruity as it did seven years ago, how can we reconcile such beauty with such horror? Many years ago, I attended the funeral one of my husband's best friends. He had killed himself, so this was such an uneasy tragedy. I also remember the sunny day felt like a slap in the face. How can nature dare be pleasant, when so many were in pain?

Of course, there is no answer to that. But I'd like to think that when the sun is shining so beautifully, it'll give comfort, and guide us through the murky grief landscape we all must travel.

I wrote the following piece, which was published yesterday at Blogcritics Magazine.

A Wednesday Afternoon Listen
Dropkick Murphys – The Meanest of Times

With respect and homage of sorts to my friend Mark Saleski – I am borrowing his well-done column idea for my own today. It just seemed the right thing to do.

Tomorrow being September 11, my thoughts naturally drift back in time. I was talking to my older son, discussing why 9/11 was not a national holiday. I said that we need to send a message that we are not cowering, not whimpering. Memorializing and praying, yes. But we are surviving. Maybe even business as usual. We are defiant in the face of terror, however muted with time it might be.

It’s that quiet, somber reflective feeling that gives me the strength to feel that defiance. Seven years of healing helps. But on this same day, my husband prepares to help and support his friend and colleague Jim, by attending the wake of his son Joseph.

Joey Larracey, 16, collapsed after a football scrimmage last Friday night, Sept 5^th and died later that evening. And his parents, family, and the whole community are lost on the most treacherous grief terrain. They don’t have the sedating comfort of time that smoothes the rough footing of this savage landscape.

The Dropkick Murphys have felt all of that. I don’t even have to know them personally to know that they suffered. It’s in their songs. You hear it in their adaptation of “Green Fields of France” (Warrior’s Code), a poignant anti war song. You can’t miss it “Last Letter Home” (also from Warrior’s Code), a collection of real letters to and from Andrew Farrar, a Marine who died in Fallujah in 2005. DKM sounded absolutely pissed off in that song. Damn straight.

But today as I drive through the beautiful September sunshine, I listen to “Never Forget” from Meanest of Times. And I play it full blast.

“When you got love and we got family
Keep 'em close and don't forget
To hold them right there in your heart
When you got love and family”

May all the strength of God, friends, family and Love support the Larracey family in these very meanest of times.

The Random Tuesday in July

The following is I came across it this evening, totally looking for something else - but thought it was interesting.

The Haves and the Have-Nots

Now, I'm not espousing one party or government over another. But this - well you certainly can't call it a 'newsflash' - piece has merit because we can't forget that the extreme economic disparity that exists in the U.S., it's...what - shameful? Unnecessary? Just throwing in a little conscience.


And, the Wants and the Needs-

But all that lovely Socialist chat aside - let's talk about me.

I want to:

Take Sir Brewster's advice and go rent The Seven Samurai (or Shichinin no samurai) by that Kurosawa gent they always rave about.

Justify the coolest shite I bought at Marine Specialties in Provincetown, by finding a home for it. I tell you, I had to have that Czech medicine bottle, and that pillow, and those couple of cobalt pieces - Don't you Just Love a Bargain? (Ha, wrong store!).

Write.
Write about my vacation. (Well, you know where I shopped at least), write about the upcoming television season, write about the environment, about the most sublime oatmeal-walnut-raisin cookie, share the experience that is guitarist Dan Byrnes...delve deep into the lake of love, the subtle currents, the cold shocks, and all the sunny goodness that make up that emotion.

Set more time aside to play Lego Indiana Jones on the XBox with the boys. They love watching me f*ck up. I always jump too far and land in the water with the crocs or in the mine shaft or I accidentally whack Indy with my saber/wrench/shovel. (and then he whips me). Good times.

I need to:

Get the Young Prince motivated for summer reading/book reports

Buy new pillows for the trailer. Some of them have been around since the Carter Administration. Ok, maybe just one. And maybe it's only since the Sr. Bush's time -- but man...it's old!

Ditto the pillowcases

Sort out those damn pesky hospital bills

Call Bryan for some network help

Write those reviews.
Write those emails
Write anything.

54 Questions I stole off The Duke, who Stole off Sinead

1. Where is your sister right now?
Sadly, she’s in Chestnut Hill Cemetery

2. Last place you kissed someone?
Last night, at his bedside. (Ok it was my son)

3. Name five things you did today?
Probably cursed. Made my coffee. Ate a muffin baked by my husband, a pumpkin/cream cheese/raisin affair. (not bad). Took a Shower. Went down the street to look for a job. (no, not really, but it seemed to flow)

4. Last person you text messaged?
I barely know how. I think it was my friend Marc. (no, not Sir Saleski)

8. What are you listening to?The wind blowing stuff around outside. And bits of Babyshambles Shotters Nation in my head, and at this very, very moment, The New York Dolls

10. Eye Color?
Greenish.
(But I will also leave in The Duke’s response, because it’s so funny “No colour worth ever writin a song about, that's for sure.”)

11. Has anyone told you they're in love with you?

Of course!
12. What color are your bedroom walls?
Boring white.

13. Do you have a chair in your room?
Yes, a largish green recliner and a small, daintier antique-ish rocking chair that’s a bit broken.

14. What are you doing tomorrow?
Probably disappointing someone.

15. What should you be doing right now?
Dinner is made, maybe I should clean off the table so we can eat.

18. Do you get along with your parents?
Since they too are at the aforementioned cemetery – I get along with them great. No… I got along with them fine when they were alive too. : )

19. Any pets?
Not at present. Our beloved cat Seeger died of very old age (nearly 19?) a couple years ago.
But just the other day Tom started to vigorously campaign for a ‘cat for Christmas’. Saints preserve us! Update: Two-Bit joined us in the summer of 2009. A great, great cat.

20. Favorite band?
That’s what my MySpace page is for.

21. Are you married/engaged?
20 years worth so far. : )

22. When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings?
A couple nights ago when I called and told him about Mike’s play

24. Do you play an instrument?
The same sibling, my brother Pat tried to teach me guitar. It didn’t go well, but I came away enriched with the opening chords of “Dueling Banjos” Y’all just know it as ‘that song from Deliverance’ and some little bit of CSN&Y. I do sing a little.

26. Are you allergic to anything?
I used to wear neoprene knee braces for karate, but I developed an allergy to the neoprene. Then I got fitted for fancy hinged things, that I rarely wore. And Percocet makes me itch.

32. Do you miss someone?
miss my mom now and then. She had a good sense of humor. I also miss our friend Kelly from karate. He took off for the Great White North over a year ago, and has nary been heard from since. he was a great guy – and he gave us free sparring lessons. RIP Kelly Stenstrum - long sad story. (Sept 2008)

33. Do you think they miss you too?
Could be.

34. How many credit cards do you have?
A few.

35. Have you ever wanted to be a teacher?Yes, somewhat. I did teach Sunday School for 3 years. I had the same kids from 3rd – 5th grade, and now they are high school juniors. They’ve turned out pretty good too. I also have taught karate to squirmy 1st – 4th graders. Oy!

(And again, I’ll also enclose the Duke’s response. Too precious not to share. “As a fall-back, yes. Like, if all else falls to shite, i can at least teach other folks , thereby passing on my mistakes and feeling secure in the knowledge that, with my help, at least THEY'LL all fuck up too.”)

36. What is one thing you've learned about life?
That we need to follow Ferris Bueller’s advice – stop and look around once in a while

37. Whats your favorite color?
Not one fav, tho I find myself attracted to certain shades of green, and certain shades of pink. And sometimes I could swoon over the perfect brown sweater – and other times only black will do.

38. Is anyone jealous of you?
I doubt that!

39. Ever been stuck in an elevator?
The elevators in my dorm were a little weird. They sometimes got stuck between floors.

(and here is Dukes’ answer “not yet, but im lookin forward to it, since if aersosmith are to be believed, im gon' be in for the right ol' huff n' grind.”)

40. What does your dad call you?
by my name.

42. What does you hair look like right now?
Right this very moment? It’s auburny with some foils (blond highlights). It also currently sits with gel in it, and it has a mild faux dred-lock look to it

45. What did you last eat?
Some of the corn chowder I made today. Not bad. : )(and another one from Aaron, The Duke “a lemon dipped in a tartar sauce. don't EVER ever give in to that temptation. no good awaits far side o' it, i assure you”).

46. Is your hair naturally curly or straight?
wavy, sometimes curly

. Who was the last person you drove with?
What is the point of this question? Like on a cross country road trip? Or like taking my youngest to the orthodontist?

49. What are you looking forward to?Cautiously looking forward to Christmas, if everything gets done. Especially looking forward to hearing words from the docs that Tom’s liver will be fine for the rest of his life. That’s a ways off tho. So far, so good - with the new liver from 5/2/10. Things are not easy though.

50. What's your biggest pet peeve?
Smug parents. People that talk at you, and not with you. People who DO NOT LISTEN.

51. Do you have any tattoos?
yes. Small red and black yin-yang, because it reminds me to always seek balance. Right next to it is some Japanese kanji that says Sho Dan. This was done specially to celebrate my rank of black belt (shodan). It sits about an inch or so below my right ear.

52. Any piercings?Yes, two ear lobe piercings as a teen. Then one extra lobe piercing in my right ear in college. Then ear cartilage piercing when I turned 41.

53. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Not a lot different from what I am now, just God-willing smarter, and with a whole lot more patience. And a firmer ass would be swell.

54. Obsessions?

Cadbury Dairy Milk chocolate bar, certain songs and Grosse Point Blank.

Editor's Note:

And hey, what a coincidence, the editor is also the author, right, let's get on with it --- The above 54 questions are in reality quite a few less than 54. Don't know why. Never realized it till now.

Perhaps we'll call this 54 Brain Cells.

October Roundup

TV
I really want to like Private Practice. I like the actors, and some of the story lines are interesting, but it’s trying way too hard to be the new hot show. As a spin-off of Grey’s Anatomy, the very successful ABC medical drama, Practice would appear to be poised to re-create some, if not all of that success. But it just ain’t happening. Is the soundtrack too calculated? Are the men too buff? Or maybe ABC’s marketing campaign is just entirely too much.

The organic flow of dialogue, plot and acting in Grey’s is not apparent in Private Practice. Not yet anyway. Prognosis: Guarded.

Thoughts?

I do like Chuck and Journeyman (NBC). The former is fun and sweet, with one or two moments of believability. (It needs more, especially with the Chuck and Sarah thing) Journeyman is all right, but a little too depressing without anything all that redeeming. Trying to get my mind back around Heroes. I watched it quite faithfully at its inception last season – but must have put it aside when 24 began in January.

Speaking of Fox, only caught one or two eps of House so far. Still going strong.

Music
This month, as Blender Magazine celebrates some of the worst, “40 Worst Lyricists Ever”(November, 2007) , and “Run for Your Life! It’s the Worst 50 Songs Ever!” (Blender.com), they also give the nod to Babyshambles’ “Delivery”, from U.S. almost-here-release of Shotter’s Nation. (EMI/Astralwerks – October 23, 2007). Ranked in the Top 20 “Download This” section, Delivery, the untitled title track, is indeed fun poppy tune. Look for my full Shotter’s Nation review next week Blogcritics Magazine.

Movies
I don’t think I’ve been to the cinema at all this month. I’m trying to remember the last movie I saw on the big screen. It’ll come to me.

DVDs
Saw a good part of Hot Fuzz over the long weekend. This flick has a lot going for it. I’d love to get on a good long jag over this, just don’t have the time. Watched A Scanner Darkly again. This too, deserves a special riff by Moi Such an interesting movie. But El Bicho shares his well-written take on it here.

Books
Nikki Sixx’s bizarre, depressing and downright fascinating hard look at a year addicted to smack in Heroin Diaries: A Year in the Life of a Shattered Rock Star. (With Ian Gittins – Pocket Books, September 18, 2007). To balance the down and dirty screed on sex, drugs and Rock and Roll, I’m also reading Shopaholic & Baby, Sophie Kinsella’s fifth outing for Becky Bloomwood. Cool movie and book news is that Confessions of a Shopaholic is in pre-production. Himself, Jerry Bruckheimer will be producing the comedy, and Becky will be portrayed by Isla Fisher (Wedding Crashers).

Coolness.

Politics
Zonks! Yes, you read right. I’m actually broaching the subject, albeit for the briefest of moments. Today is the special election for our representative from the Fifth Congressional District. I voted for Independent Patrick Murphy. There were strong emotional reasons to favor either Niki Tsongas or Jim Ogonowski but other than that – I couldn’t bring myself to go those routes.

The Sky Blues

Break Up Music -

“In My Dreams” – The Sky Blues (now known as Bird Mancini)

This hidden gem is smack in the middle of a great blues CD, Blues from the Hub (Boston Blues Society, 2001). It’s a blatantly sexy song, and if you let it, it’ll evoke the dark smoky jazz club with the sultry and sage torch singer performing for one bartender and one lone patron. Yeah, that one bar-fly who keeps putting bills in the smudged glass bowl sitting at the edge of the stage. That one sad man, who has dulled the ice cold stabs of a broken heart with the heat of bourbon and the voice of Ruby Bird.

Or maybe it’s a couple – finding relief and release with each other, their inhibitions sent packing by this powerhouse of a song.

Either way, it’s fantastic.